My child wants to use the
public restroom
WHAT YOU MIGHT THINK She could be
kidnapped. There might be perverts. And
the germs!
REAL-WORLD STRATEGY “We were in our
favorite frozen yogurt shop when my 6-year-old
daughter, Addy, announced that she wanted
to go to the bathroom by herself,” says Rachel
Olsen, a mom in San Diego. “I had to talk myself
through it—there’s one stall, and I was right
outside the door. Somehow, I knew this was
a watershed moment, so I said, ‘Sure. I’ll wait
right here.’ ”
Olsen, who says she isn’t quite ready to
let her daughter try this in larger venues like
department stores or airports, asked Addy a few
questions afterward, like Were you able to lock
the door? Were you nervous? “When she said
yes, and no, respectively, I knew she was ready
to try it in other small stores,” Olsen says. “I still
hang close to the entrance, but I do let her go in
by herself. My daughter really appreciated the
independence, and I saw it build her confidence
to handle other tasks without my help.”
MAKE IT SAFE Many kids are ready for this
milestone at age 6, says Rachelle Theise, Psy.D.,
a psychologist at New York University’s Child
Study Center. “Start with baby steps,” she
advises. “You can say, ‘I’ll wait right outside,
so you can yell if you need me.’ ” And remind
yourself that it’s unlikely a creep is lurking:
90 percent of sex crimes against children are
committed by people they know, not strangers.
FIND
YOUR
NO-HOVER
ZONE
Parents are under
constant pressure
to run steady
surveillance.
Here’s how to let
go, a little at a time.
Thanks to better medicine, lower crime rates, and increased injury awareness, American kids are safer than ever. But you’d never know it from the news headlines, which reveal that we’re raising kids on short electronic tethers and micromanaging their
lives. Experts say this comes at a price: “Hovering creates a kind
of codependency,” says Timothy Johanson, M. D., a pediatrician
and co-author of Gist: The Essence of Raising Life-Ready Kids.
“It sends the message that the world is dangerous, and that kids
are ill-equipped to navigate it.”
So how’s a parent to know when a child is poised to take on
life’s next big challenge, whether biking around the block or
driving on the interstate? “Communicate well, set expectations,
and practice,” Johanson says. “You’ll know your child is ready
when you see him act responsibly, over and over.” Here, three
great opportunities for letting kids learn valuable life lessons.
12 better homes and gardens | school
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